Tanni for Danceof Chaos
“I am exhausted! And I feel I am not doing anything at all! And you want to do what?” I exclaimed to my husband.
He made his puppy eye and pleaded, “ I will do it only after baby K goes to bed, please I had a very stressful day at work today.”
“ Sure, It’s all about you and your male needs. What about my need to relax after taking care of our baby whole day.” I was fuming.
He : I will take care of her now, and then after she falls asleep, will go and cycle a bit.
It was a long, tough day. Baby K will not sleep during the day and trying to put her down for a nap was a unwinnable battle. I just was irritated and needed to vent it out. These days, I don’t feel like I do much more than cooking, cleaning, and baby. Post-partum is not fun.
Me: What about me and spending time with me? Don’t you want to help in the house ?
He : Um I cleaned the kitchen, and you hung the wash. There is nothing left to do.
Me : There is, I will find something for you to do. Why do you have to do indoor cycling every day?
He : Umm baby, I do it only for you. So that I can eat your awesome food.
I burst out.
What do you mean? My awesome food. You are turning me into a cook. All I do is cook, eat, then think of what to eat and then make food and eat. I am hungry all the time. Does it ever occur to you to offer to make food? What if I want to write my blog post?
He : Do you want to write blog post?
Me : No, not now. Theoretically I want to. It’s not a switch. Creativity has flow. I need to sit in peace for a few hours to do so.
He : Umm Baby, don’t get mad but you are glued to your tablet all the time.
Me : What can I do with a hungry baby docked to my boobs all the time? You could offer to take care of her.
Baby K loudly interjects her demand this moment. Mommy and Daddy were spending way too much time looking at each other. No likey! I star! I baby! I people look and admire. They admire us ( royal we).
Me ( after latching baby back on to her night feed) : Just saying, you can offer to do keep me a little more happy you know! I don’t feel like I am doing anything. And I hate your stupid cycle and it’s noise.
He : Here, I warmed up the food. give me your phone and eat.
I still pout: You are in charge of meal prep this week!!!!
He : Foin! Don’t be mad if it is not gourmet food.
Me : Foin! I will settle for sandwiches and spaghetti. You can cook me khichudi one day.
He hopefully : So, cycle tonight??
Me : Absolutely not!!!!!!
*** After 30 minutes***
Me : I haven’t done my Yoga today. Want to do it with me?
He : Sure. Anything for you baby.
Once baby K was put to bed, we spent a blissful hour destressing, doing Yoga together. I guess I just missed doing something with him.
I also missed writing something creative, that did not involve doing something for the shop.
I wanted to write about me time. He suggested to write about doing Yoga together.
I wanted to write a big article, with pros cons, life, me time, destressing, mindfulness.
Instead, this came to me today.
I am happy that I wrote something again.